Tuesday, January 9th, 2024
Okay, this is definitely an occasional blog.
A lot has happened since last May, and as always, I've been updating things on this site here and there when I can. But 2023 was a crazy year for me. I ended a job, started another, lost some things, gained some things, and now I'll be moving 12 hours away from my current home in a week short weeks. More on that later.
things lost (tw for miscarriage)
One of the hardest parts of coming back to update this blog and keep working on the site was that right after I left my job at the end of April, I had a miscarriage. I was leaving my the job because my contract was up and my boss made it clear she was no longer happy with my work. It was unfortunately really stressful, but in the last couple months there, I also got pregnant. I was bleeding a little bit from early on, and no one could really tell me why. It ended up stressing me out so badly that I ended my contract two weeks early and tried to take some time to relax before having to go full speed ahead into baby stuff. And then at my first ultrasound they told me the embryo wasn't the right size for it's "age" and that it had probably died, but my body hadn't noticed yet. It's called a "missed miscarriage."
I had to wait another agonizing week while blood tests were done to determine if they were right, and I spent most of it in bed, passively staring at TikTok and Youtube videos. And of course, they were. A couple weeks later, over Memorial Day week, my husband and I sat on the couch and watched TV while I took the meds to flush the dead embryo from my system.
I am ETERNALLY grateful I live in a place where getting these drugs happened quickly and easily, and that I didn't have to go through the pain of a "natural" miscarriage. You learn a lot when you lose a pregnancy you wanted, and one of those things is how common miscarriage really is. Everyone told me their stories when I told them what happened. Even my boss, who I'm pretty sure hated my guts, told me she had "been there." Being able to miscarry before it happened naturally really went a long way to making it through to the other side.
It took a lot of laying around and friends dragging me out of the house, but I did eventually started to feel better by July.
After that kind of terrible summer, I got a new job at the beginning of August and... immediately got pregnant again lmao. I'm now at 22 weeks and getting the shit kicked out of me from the inside. So things worked out (and hopefully will continue to).
Around the same time I got a new job, my husband was furloughed at his job. We were able to keep our insurance, thankfully, but he then spent much the rest of the year looking for work. And thank fuckin' God, he finally found it. He was offered a job at a company near Portland, so suddenly, within the next few weeks, we have to pack up our life and move there. It will suck in that we have to leave our friends and family behind, but I already have people asking when they can visit, so I'm not too worried about being lonely. My dad also plans to come stay with us in early May when the baby is due and help take care of it. He retired last year, so having him around won't mean we'll be either completely alone, or that people I know will try to create a revolving door of visitors and substitute caretakers. Which would be great, but babies aren't supposed to see many people in the early months so they don't catch any diseases and can develop in a safe place. So sorry, you can't come over after May and until like, September.
And since we're moving, I'll probably have to stop working at my current job, though I already have a replacement in mind. I hope to maybe do some parttime online work for the after the move, but who knows? Being a contractor is not an easy thing to be.
Obviously, I have a million more thoughts and things I'm preoccupied with right now, but I'm hoping to do a site redesign and large update between our move and before the baby is born. And then probably another two years where I don't do much else to it lmao. But I don't say I didn't warn you!
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Music: n/a
